Unwanted Memories
by Kurenai LeStrange
Summary: It's been 4 yrs. since Sasuke left the Leaf Village. On a last chance mission to find him; Shikamaru Nara is captured after watching Chouji's "demise". Will they find Nara and his secret before it's too late? What happens if Chouji were to reappear? Mpreg Warning!
1. Chapter 1: Weakness

Unwanted Memories

Shika/Cho

Angst/Comfort

(Mpreg warning!!! If you do not like such things, leave before you read any further.)

PLOT:

It's been 4 years since Sasuke Uchiha has left the Leaf Village, on a last chance mission to find Sasuke; Shikamaru Nara is captured. Though the rest of the team is nearly wiped out, all Nara knows is teammate Chouji Akimichi is dead. Will his team succeed in their search and find him or will he be left to fend for himself and will the secret Shikamaru has been carrying for the last few months be found out by Orochimaru?

CHAPTER 1

*********

Shikamaru Nara is in dire need of medical attention. It has been almost five months since his capture and the injuries have been racking up. With every day that passes, comes a new interrogation and with that, comes a new set of wounds. Orochimaru himself has come down to his cell at least twice a week; interrogating him, draining his chakra almost completely every time. Yet he cannot break Shikamaru: the lazy, shiftless dreamer, the genius and key strategist for the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

He breathes deeply, trying to shake off the memories triggered by the events from only moments ago. Wiping the blood streaming from his freshly split lip, he tries to get comfortable on the stone floor. Some interrogation sessions are more painful than others, this one being one of the lesser sessions. His whole body aches and yet he is still whole, but he doesn't know how much longer he can protect what is most precious to him. His ribs throb from the pounding they received only moments before. He wonders smugly, how many are broken. He tries to move, grunting from the pain. He curses his interrogators for what they put him through over and over again. He then curses himself for not being capable enough to free himself from the current situation.

*******

As the darkness overtakes him, Shikamaru's thoughts float back to the night they captured him.

_He was out greatly outnumbered, injured and low on chakra. From where he was seated on the mossy ground, one of the largest Sound nin towered over him. Shika's heart filled with dread as the large paw-like hand reached down and picked him up by the front of his tactical vest. He looked a lot like Jiroubou, which sent a shudder of fear through Shikamaru. The reason being, how he had almost lost Chouji the first time was when they encountered him on their first mission to get Sasuke._

"_Shikamaru Nara, the strategist from the Village Hidden in the Leaves...Orochimaru could have great use for you..."_

_As darkness washed over him, he smirked at the large man._

"_This is too troublesome, my reason to live is dead, and I won't be helpful by giving you any information... so why don't you do us both a favor and kill me now."_

"_And who said I owe you any favors?"_

_The burly man laughed in his face, and as the darkness swallowed him, his last thoughts were, "Chouji..."_

*******

Shikamarus' condition is getting harder to hide on his rail thin frame. Accordingly, he has become accustomed, upon hearing the sound of footsteps, to pull his knees as close to his chest as he can and drape his torn jacket over his legs trying to camouflage his secret. Though he has been forced into many sexual encounters during the duration of his capture; he knows he is carrying a dead man's child.

He was showing symptoms before Lady Tsunade even assigned them the second failed mission to retrieve Uchiha.

In fact, his induction for Jounin was interrupted by a quick trip to the bathroom for him when the nausea couldn't be tolerated any longer. Though at the time he had just thought it were his nerves playing tricks on him. Shikamaru wishes he had taken the chance to tell his lover what he suspected but he was waiting to reveal the life-changing secret at their homecoming. Sadly, that was quickly remedied when the mission took a turn for the worst, resulting in his lover's death and his captivity.

Shika often prayed to die, as he threw up what little they gave him in a dark corner of his cell. He guesses it's been almost four months since he has kept a meal down, the swell of his stomach the only tell-tale sign there is a new life growing. His body is wasting away and he knows if he has to stay locked up much longer, that it would be the death of his and Choujis' child and then his own very, very soon after. There is a deep penetrating ache on the right side of his abdomen; he places his hand upon it pressing against it firmly for comfort.

For all he knows it's some type of contraction because of the pain's random, sporadic, frequency. He quickly lifts the tattered shirt just enough to caress the flesh lovingly hoping the pain would subside and he could comfort his child. The only piece of Chouji he had left in this world. He stops suddenly when the hair on the back of his neck begins to stand on end, he can feel danger drawing near. Boot steps on concrete are drawing ever closer, the closer they got the more nauseous he felt.

'_Now what do they want... I'm still half dead from the last session they put me through, like ten minutes ago. What a drag.'_

The lock on the cell door clicks to life and Kabuto Yakushi steps in carrying a tray. As usual Shikamaru is being served a bowl with some type of miso sludge in it and a piece of bread. Shika doesn't know what's going to kill him first: Kabuto or the food.

"We don't want you dying on us, Nara... your screams make for great entertainment."

"Gee, I'm so glad I can fill the empty spot of after meal entertainment for you assholes."

Kabuto crouches down next to him placing the tray on the floor, Shikamaru felt himself flinch as Kabuto raises his gloved palm upward. Kabuto pushes the rim of his glasses back up his nose, and then places his hand upon Shikamaru's face, feeling the soft features and silky, hairless flesh with his bare fingertips. Shika knows he's at a great disadvantage especially when Kabuto draws his face closer to his own.

"You know Nara, you are so much prettier when you don't speak."

"Thanks, I'll try to keep that in mind. What did I do to merit such a compliment from you?"

Kabuto ignores the sarcasm, while he continues to violate Shikamaru's personal space. Shika sneers at him in disgust. He knows when he's is getting under Kabuto's skin, and he is feeling especially cheeky tonight.

Kabuto pulls Shika closer still, by jerking the string that keeps his dirty, blood crusted hair pulled up out of his face. The hair cascades down, shading his features further. Kabuto runs his fingers through the back of Shikas' hair, then violently jerks his head to the side by trapping the soft tendrils in his clenched fist. Shikamaru cries out in surprise, a chill running down his spine as Kabuto runs his fingerless gloved hand down Shikamaru's cheek bringing his hand to rest upon his neck.

"Such gentle, soft features... sometimes I forget you're a boy, Nara."

Shikamaru swallows hard, he knows as well as anyone this wouldn't be ending well.


	2. Chapter 2: A lucky shot

**Unwanted Memories**

**By: Kurenai LeStrange**

_Naruto: Shikamaru /Choji Pairing_

Rated: M Warnings: Angst/Comfort/Drama/Romance

(Mpreg warning!!! If you do not like such things, leave before you read any further.)

I own no rights to these characters; I merely manipulate their essence for your pleasure.

**PLOT:**

_It's been 4 years since Sasuke Uchiha has left the Leaf Village, on a last chance mission to find Sasuke; Shikamaru Nara is captured. Though the rest of the team is nearly wiped out, all Nara knows is teammate Choji Akimichi is dead. Will his team succeed in their search and find him or will he be left to fend for himself and will the secret Shikamaru has been carrying for the last few months be found out by Orochimaru?_

* * *

CHAPTER 2: Worthless

***

A single, silent tear of panic rolls gently down Shikamaru's cheek. Kabuto could see it's pale reflection in the dim light. He pulls the terrified boy closer yet, causing Shikamaru to grunt in discomfort. His range of motion is being terribly outstretched, because of his seated position. Kabuto leans in, licking the tear from his cheek. Shikamaru feels nauseous at his very touch. A low, deep cramp begins in the base of his stomach, causing his breath to hitch from the mild twinge and the uncertainty.

"I can taste your fear, Nara. Doesn't it ignite an inner fury knowing that Konoha has written you off already? They haven't even sent out a single search party, for their key strategist, no less… heartbreaking is it not?"

Shika is really beginning to feel uncomfortable. He pulls his knees as close as his stomach allowed, the cramp in his side sharpening for a movement. He gasps lightly, hoping not to get Kabuto's already unwanted attention. Kabuto raises an eyebrow, as he runs a rough, chakra calloused fingertip across Shikamaru's torn and bloodied bottom lip, making his skin crawl.

_"That looks like it really smarts, Nara..."_

He didn't like Kabuto being this close, much less touching him... or saying his name. He fights mental images of the first night Kabuto forced himself upon him, as he has done many times since.

_Flashes of himself on all fours, the pain seared as the flames of anguish saturate his entire core, as Kabuto, held him by the scalp as he viciously entered Shikamaru. The intense pain sending waves of pain throughout his body, Shika bit the interior of his lip until he tasted the foul, bitter metallic flavor of blood fill his mouth as he bites down to keep from crying out. Kabuto slams into him from head to hilt, again and again, tears pouring down his cheeks. The whole time the tears fell, Shika fought back the screams; he'll never give Kabuto the satisfaction of breaking him no matter how painful it is. _

_As Kabuto thrusts, the blood pours from the gashes in his back and legs where he was cut to ribbons, for no particular reason. Kabuto just enjoyed carving people up, for the entertainment aspect. He carved the symbols for slut, whore, and worthless down his spine. The shame seeping from him as he is mentally broken by the intentionally cruel statements, Kabuto used to maintain control, as they cut him to the core. _

As Kabuto runs his finger across the bloody tear in Shika's lip, as he licks his own. Shika sneers,

_"Stop calling me by my last name..."_

He knows he'll be punished for it, but Shikamaru takes Kabuto by the shoulders anyway, and shoves him backward, causing him to land on his ass on the stone floor. All the while Shikamaru curses them under his breath that they have stolen his chakra from him, knowing he is after all the shadow master. That had to be why they would drain him of his chakra so frequently.

_"And keep your filthy, stinking paws off me, Kabuto!"_

Kabuto's lips curled in utter disgust.

"_How dare you touch me, deer brat! I should you kill you for that!"_

Kabuto grabs his collar lifting him from the seated position, punching him in the jaw. His lip tears back open, as he landed on his knees. Shikamaru spits the offensive metallic tasting substance into Kabuto's face as he reaches down pulling Shika back up to him. Kabuto, still holding him up by the collar, wipes the blood from his own face with the back of his fingerless glove. He laughs deeply, growling into Shikamaru's ear,

"_It's that stubbornness that keeps getting you into trouble... Nara."_

He pulls Shikamaru closer, staring him in the eyes then shoves him into the wall roughly. He continues violating Shika's personal space even further by shoving his tongue into his mouth. Shikamaru protests loudly. Kabuto entwines his fingers through Shika's hair as he pulls him closer still, not caring if he can breathe or not. Shikamaru bites Kabuto's lower lip, causing him to cry out. Shikamaru smirks in the dim light, knowing this is his only opening. He rears back and head butts Kabuto as hard as he can, almost knocking himself out in the process. Shika hits the ground again, landing with a grunt. He hears Kabuto hit the ground, but doesn't see where he lands; he hopes that Kabuto got the picture and had slipped out.

On the contrary, Shikamaru turns to see him setting up to kick him while he is down. Lying on his back, Shika quickly scrambles to pull his knees in as close to his stomach as he could, just as Kabuto makes solid contact with his ribs. He hears a loud popping sound, the pain in flames down his side. If there was any doubt before, now he is certain there's at least a broken rib or two. He gasps for air as the kick throws him onto his side and he immediately balls into the fetal position again. Before the previous events have even set in, Kabuto has pulled him onto his knees. Taking a place behind Shikamaru, he draws his Kunai out, placing it at Shika's throat. The blade is new. He can feel the warmth of blood drawn, just by him bumping it against his flesh.

_"You're going to pay for that, Nara!"_

"_Fuck you, Kabuto!"_

As he draws his blade back for the kill, he is interrupted by a voice.

"Kabuto! You fool. He's trying to rile you up, so that you will kill him. Meaning he's knows something useful, leave him be. He'll be tortured until he speaks... tomorrow."

Shikamaru has never been so happy to see anyone, especially not Orochimaru. Kabuto still had him in a make-shift headlock on the floor, blade still at his throat.

Kabuto glares at Orochimaru,

_"Yes, Master Orochimaru. Until tomorrow then… Nara."_

Kabuto slowly draws the blade from his throat, but then suddenly strikes its cool metallic tip into Shikamaru's shoulder shoving it in to the hilt. Flames of pain shoot through his shoulder, rolling like waves as the muscle and nerves are sliced in two. He can even hear the blade while it's tearing through his flesh.

Shikamaru cries out crashing back down to his knees, nursing his newly injured shoulder, the liquid pain escaping his eyes in the darkness of his cell. He looks up feeling silent tears stain his cheeks, giving away his true state of being, Orochimaru sneers in disgust at his paroxysm as he slams the cell door. Kabuto sneers, blood running down his forehead and from his nose from Shika's lucky shot.

A shot he knows he'll be paying for in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3: Living Nightmare

CHAPTER 3

******

Sitting in the corner, Shika looks at the food next to the door, his appetite no longer present. He knows, he should eat to maintain his strength, but the thought alone, made his stomach drop. Though he had forgotten about it for a moment, his injured shoulder, reminds him quickly of its pain, when he leans back against the wall. He hisses softly, as he leans forward, struggling to see it more closely in the darkness of his cell. He slowly moves toward the brightest spot in his cell, biting his lip fiercely trying to keep the agony from his shoulder from spewing its cries from his mouth. As he carefully settles himself down, he pulls the sleeve up over his shoulder to inspect the new wound.

The brown haired ninja shakes his head violently: _trying to clear the images of Kabuto sneering down upon him. Trying to clear with it, the sound of Kabuto's voice as he makes his pithy remarks, as he violently withdrew the blade from his shoulder. The ample waves of pain coursed through his body. _

_Kabuto wipes the blood from his nose with the back of his glove. Still holding the kunai, it shimmered with the flecks of blood dripping in the light, pouring in from the open cell door._

"_Ewww… that looks pretty deep, you might want to have someone look at that, Nara."_

'_It's a deep wound alright, Kabuto, you bastard.' Shikamaru scoffs, 'No point in worrying about though. I know unless a miracle happens, I'll be dying tomorrow anyway... But still...'_

He tears a portion of his pant leg off, wrapping it tightly around his upper shoulder to slow the bleeding.

His thoughts float to Chouji yet again.

_'Chouji... Chouji... why didn't I come back for you... ? I trusted you when you said to let you handle it. It was my mission so it is my fault, how could I make the same mistake twice. I am sorry; I told you I wasn't meant to lead. I guess we'll be joining you soon, if the three of us can't be together in this life...'_

Thoughts of his love, smiling, while munching on a bag of chips, brought tears to his eyes and a sharp pain in the pit of his stomach. He gasps, from the new found discomfort. It seems the thinner he got the less room the baby had.

'_And let's face it; I didn't exactly have a lot to lose to begin with.'_

No matter what time of day, whether or not he did, didn't or what he had eaten, he is nauseous. He looks around making sure there is no guard-nin close by and scoots into the darkest corner he can find in the cell. The pain is very persistent, almost throbbing in his lower abdomen. He sits knees up and leans back against the cold, damp wall with a grunt, trying to take some of the pressure off his lower back. Closing his eyes for a moment, he attempts to clear his mind. It was so much easier to clear the mind when he had Chouji's stomach for a pillow, and the clouds to gaze upon. The thought is almost comforting and he had used that particular one often, especially in his most desperate hours during his capture.

He reaches down with a shaking, bloodied hand and lifts the tattered, fish net shirt he has been wearing for quite some time and begins to massage the swollen flesh of his abdomen. The pain seems to subside a little but never really goes away as the tears stream down his cheeks. His thoughts run wild;

'_Will I ever get to hold you in my arms little one? Are you healthy? Chouji, it's been five months almost since I have seen you... since I am still in this prison, then it must be true, you were all killed. Will we ever get out or will we die here? I'm sorry small one, you deserved much better than me but I will protect you until the end. Thank you for keeping me company.'_

While he sits there, he finds himself humming the same tune his father would hum to him often when he was little. He hummed it most often, when he would tuck him in at night. He gently caresses the taunt flesh containing his most precious gift. During this whole mess he hasn't had much time to stop and notice that he has already bonded with his child. His fears for the first few months had been whether or not he had what it takes, seeing as he isn't 'a natural mothering type' and yet nature just took over. He wonders what his own mother's fears were when she was pregnant with him.

'_I'm sure her situation wasn't nearly as dire… troublesome woman.'_

He laughs to himself gently as he kisses his palm then gently brushes it past the apex of the bulge. While he has the moment, he examines his stomach as well as he can in the dim light. His skin is definitely pulled as taunt as it can get, he couldn't see any stretch marks but he knows they are definitely there.

'_I'm not even a full five months yet… has it actually been longer than that?'_

Deciding he doesn't need to worry himself any longer, he pulls his shirt down as far as it will go. Then tries to carefully settle himself on the cold floor for an uneasy rest, he has a long day of torture ahead him and his shoulder is killing him.

He chuckles lightly to himself as he began to doze.

"_What would Ino say if she could see me now?"_

***

Ino Yamanaka sneezes as she wipes her eyes. She lays down one of the bouquets she's holding at the foot of the memorial stone. As she turns to leave from her once a month visit, she touches the name on the stone lightly,

_"Goodbye, Shikamaru... We miss you."_

She heads back for the village to visit Chouji, in the Hospital. Aimlessly walking, she thinks of the events of last few months...

_'Shikamaru's funeral, Kiba's injuries, Neji almost dying, Shino's poisoning and near death, Sakura's pregnancy and miscarriage by a mystery nin. Chouji found left for dead and in a coma for almost three months, Shikaku trying to drink himself into an early grave after helping Tsunade heal Neji and Chouji. He knew all the medicine in the world cannot bring back his son. Lee's second back surgery, Naruto's pestering Tsunade to go and find Shikamaru and Sasuke. Then when Lee healed, Naruto had him wanting to go and find Shikamaru too.'_

She wipes the stray tears as they quickly escape her eyes. She has tried not to cry over all this.

'_He's dead, why do those two need a body to believe that.'_

As she slowly made her way around the corner to the nurse's station, she runs into Chouji's father Chouza, and for the first time in months he is smiling.

_"Why hello, Ino!"_

"_Hello Akimichi-san."_

_"What are you doing here on such a beautiful day?"_

_"I came to visit Chouji."_

_"Oh, well. He isn't here anymore. They released him this morning, he is at home. When I left, Naruto, Neji and Lee were there. You should come by for dinner. Asuma is coming by sometime..."_

This is the first great news she has heard in a long time. A smile crosses her own lips for the first time in months.

_"I'm heading there now, thank you! See you later."_

She waves over her shoulder as she heads toward the Akimichi compound.


	4. Chapter 4:What Are Friends For?

*Just a reminder from the author: This is unedited. Please keep this in mind and enjoy! -xo

CHAPTER 4

**********

She ran from the hospital all the way to the Akimichi quarters, once she arrived she couldn't help but pound on the door. Lee opens the door and smiles; but she's already inside and around the corner before he can even invite her in.

_"Chouji!"_

She runs up to her thin friend and throws her arms around his neck.

_"Ino! You just missed Asuma-sensei... he had the best news!"_

_"Chouji, I'm so glad you're out!"_

She says as she starts to cry and shoving the flowers in his lap she brought.

_"Yeah, we're glad too, Chouji. You kicked some major butt!"_

Naruto says with everyone else's agreement chimed in right afterward.

She stops wipes her face, with a look of total horror as she turns to see, not only Naruto, Lee and Neji; but Kiba with Akamaru, Shino standing between them and Hinata as well. Ino begins to laugh nervously, her eyes wide with anger and embarrassment.

In order to stop a melt-down Chouji grabs her arm helping her to her feet,

_"Did you hear the great news, Ino?"_

_"Um... no... What is it?"_

_"Shikamaru is alive."_

The words hit her like a ton of bricks. ALIVE! Suddenly her knees couldn't hold her any longer and she hit the floor with a thump.

_"What?"_

Her eyes were welling up again. She swallowed hard and looked up to Chouji who IS crying while he speaks to her.

_"I told you Asuma-sensei had great news! He, Iruka-sensei and Kakashi-sensei were on a mission to monitor one of Orochimaru's nin camps on the border of Sound territory. He said he could feel Shikamaru's Chakra pattern present there, it was faint but present. So tomorrow Naruto, Kiba, Shino, Neji, Lee and I will be led by Kakashi-sensei to Sound territory. Our mission is to bring my love back home."_

Everyone except Ino gasps when he says that. She has known for years.

'_Apparently, it isn't as obvious as I thought.'_

She is getting angry with him now. The concern for her teammate, and friend going out in his condition made the fiery side of her personality shine through.

_"Chouji, you can't go. You just left the hospital from almost DYING! The same goes for you Neji... You're not ready!"_

_"We'll be fine Ino. We're grown and can make our own decisions... we're going to get him."_

_"Well… then I'm coming too! He's my teammate… It's my duty."_

Chouji smiles down upon his blond teammate, reaching out holding her at arms distance. There were tears in her eyes, but she looks as indignant as ever.

_"We need you here."_

_"What! Why would…"_

_"Ino…Naruto and Kakashi are going after Sasuke. Sakura doesn't know, we need you to distract her. Please…"_

Ino looks crushed; she looks down to the shag carpet, scuffing it with her toe.

_"Sasuke… I… but… fine, I'll stay with Sakura."_

After the conversation is closed, Chouza comes home with take out and they all sit around planning next day's events. When everyone departs for the evening with the plan to meet back at the Akimichi residence in the morning, Chouza comes to Chouji's room with his concerns, as he is readying himself for bed.

_"Chouji, do you really think you need to be doing this? Ino is right; you haven't been out of the hospital long. You don't need to overdo it. I mean if anything happened to you I would..."_

_"Dad, I know you love me, but I'm a grown man. And I have to do this!"_

_"But why Chouji?"_

_"Because Dad, I have already lost Shikamaru once, I can't bear to do it again knowing there is something I can do about it this time. I can't let him down again. I love him."_

_"But.."._

_"Dad, think about it. What if it were Shikaku-san out there... alone and in pain... with the possibility of a life threatening situation looming overhead?"_

Chouji asks, knowing his father would reconsider his situation, if it involved his dear friend. Chouza sat deep in thought, next to Chouji on his bed. When Chouji was small, he towered over him; but with each passing day it felt like he was catching up. He wasn't a little boy anymore, and he can't hold him back from his future. He thinks of his very own past with Shikamaru's father, Shikaku, growing up. They had been through a lot together.

The red haired gentle giant, smiles down upon his only child, with tears pricking his eyes; he swallows the lump in his throat.

_"Chouji, you're right. You are becoming a man now, I am very proud of you and I know your mother would have been as well. Though take it to heart, that I am only allowing you to go because I saved Shikaku in a similar situation, when Shikamaru was born."_

He stands to allow his son to get in bed, walking towards the door.

_"Oh. Wait! What happened, how did you save Shikaku-kun?"_

Chozua smiles to his son from the doorway, the memories of that fateful September night many years ago, suddenly wash over him, as though they were to relive it again. With those memories come both the good and the bad.

He closes his eyes, breathing in he can actually smell the pine in the woods the battled raged in.

_He surveys their surroundings, from the spot they hurriedly set up a make-shift camp in; that humid autumn evening. The summer and autumn had been particularly horrendous that year for the sickly Shikaku, how he suffered. __Chouza can even feel the tingle of sweat rolling down his brow from nervousness, the thick, metallic scent of Shikaku's blood permeating the air. He can even feel the chill running down his spine when he hears the sounds of Shikaku's screams, his nostrils burning with the smell of smoke and the sounds of a battle raging in the distance._

_There had been no time to think, only to act._

He shakes his head clearing away the memory.

_"I'll wait to and let Shikaku decide when it's right for anyone to know. Just know he was in grave danger and only I could help him. Good night son. Sleep well."_

_"Does Shikamaru know?"_

_"__No, I believe he doesn't."_

_"Oh, okay. Good night."_

_"Good night."_

Chouza closes the door behind him and goes to bed himself. At this rate Chouji knows he is in for a sleepless night, he calms himself with thoughts of his love.  
_'Shikamaru... I hope you haven't forgotten about me. Even if you have I still love you... and I'm bringing you back reguardless.'_

He feels restless, yet comforted. He gets up and for an upteenth time inspects his weapons and his first aid kit for their mission. He even checks on his food stuffs, though food is the last thing on his mind. After he checks through everything twice, he settles back into bed and his mind finally allows him to drift off to sleep with thoughts of Shikamaru comforting him.


	5. Chapter 5: A New Day

Unwanted Memories

By: Kurenai LeStrange

Naruto: Shika/Cho Pairing

Rated: M

Warning: Mpreg and Occasional Foul Language

All characters and place belong to Masashi Kishimoto, I merely manipulate them for your entertainment.

CHAPTER 5: A NEW DAY

_"Oh. Wait! What happened, how did you save Shikaku-san?"_

Chouza smiles to his son from the doorway, the memories of that fateful September night many years ago, suddenly wash over him, as though they were to relive it again. With those memories come both the good and the bad.

_He closes his eyes, breathing in he can actually smell the pine in the woods the battled raged in. He can see all the surroundings, from the spot they hurriedly set up a make-shift camp in; that humid autumn evening. The summer and autumn had been particularly horrendous that year for the sickly Shikaku, how he suffered._

_Chouza can even feel the tingle of sweat rolling down his brow from nervousness, the thick, metallic scent of Shikaku's blood permeating the air. He even get chill down his spine when he hears the sounds of Shikaku's screams, his nostrils burning with the smell of smoke and the sounds of a battle raging in the distance._

_There had been no time to think, only to act._

"_Dad?"_

"_Another time, Choji. Get some rest."_

"_Goodnight, Dad."_

"_Goodnight, Son."_

The break of dawn is when Asuma met the team and Kakashi at Choji's house to fill them in on their mission.

_"So does everyone understand?"_

Asuma states lighting another cigarette, he is beginning to wish he was heading this mission and not Kakashi. It was his former student they were going to rescue after all.

_"Yes!"_ The chorus chimed.

_"Then I guess it's time to head out... So safe journey guys, may you find peace and glory on your mission."_

_"Bye Asuma- sensei."_

He heard the broken chorus reply, while he watches Kakashi waving over his shoulder, leading the team consisting of Naruto, Choji, Kiba, Shino, Lee and Neji towards the village gate. He turns, heading back into Choji's house; he has to speak to Chouza about Shikaku.

_"Chouza!"_

_"Yes? Oh, Asuma it's you... I thought you had already left. What can I do for you?"_

_"I wanted to talk to you."_

_"Oh, what about?" _

_"Shikaku..."_

_"Oh I see. What is it you need to know?"_

_"Where can I find him... you're his best friend, right?"_

_"Yes, I am. But the only place you can find him is at the bottom of a bottle. He's been there since Shikamaru's disappearance. He hasn't drunk like that since... well never mind."_

_"Why does he drink so?"_

_"He says, in hopes to kill himself faster, since no one else will do it for him."_

_"If I go to him, and convince him to come here, can you sober him up?"_

_"Well yes, between Inochi and myself we can...but..."_

_"But what?"_

_"I don't know how great and idea that is... he takes his drinking very seriously."_

_''We'll see about that... his son needs him."_

_"Good luck!"_

With Chouza'a blessing, he turns on his heel to begin his own self imposed mission, to save Shikaku Nara. He makes his way to the nearest bar, open this early in the day.

At 6:15 a.m. Asuma enters 'The Happy Clam' Bar and Karaoke Club to see Shikaku and few others at the bar, beers in hand. Asuma takes a seat next to him and orders large sake and a shot glass. Shikaku never looks at him,

_"You were my son's instructor, right? Old Sarutobi's kid."_

_"Yeah, you know they're going to get Shikamaru today?"_

_"Yeah, his body..."_

Shikaku slams a shot back, depression etched into every feature, as he gasps loudly from the burning of his throat. Asuma lights a cigarette and pours a shot for himself.

_"Why are you here, I don't need consoling. He's been dead for months."_

_"I am here to get you sober. Shikamaru's going to need you when they bring him back. Why are you in such denial?"_

_"Because he is dead. Denial was what I went through when I found out about him and that brat Chouju... or whatever."_

_"Brat? Choji is your best friend's son... how could you say that?"_

_"He may be my best friends' kid and I don't have anything against him now... but I don't have to like it... shit. I'd rather them be here together, than him be gone."_

Shikaku had tears slide down his cheeks when he broke for only a second, then looking stern again wipes them away.

_"My son is gone. You don't know that pain; you don't know what is like to lose your own child. You only know what it is to lose someone else's."_

This time it is Asuma who slams a shot back, then lights a new cigarette.

_"Actually, I do know what it's like."_

Shikaku is in mid-lift of his drink and stops just short of his mouth. Yeah, he is incredibly drunk, but he can still see the pain of loss in Asuma's eyes; as the man stares straight ahead at the bar, cigarette barely hanging from his lips.

_"No one really knows about it, not even our squads... but Kurenai and I were to have a baby girl two months from now. It was a very difficult pregnancy from the very beginning; you know how hard it is for a Konoichi to get pregnant. Anyway..."_

He slams another shot, and then puffs his cigarette for a moment collecting his thoughts.

_"She was so sick, Lady Tsunade did everything for her she could... we were so happy, I had asked her to marry me. We were getting ready to tell everyone...we lost our little girl Kiaedae two months ago. She was only five months along...she just wasn't strong enough to survive. We haven't been the same since; Kurenai sits up and cries for hours at night. She won't speak to me, more or less kiss me or hug me. She won't even look at me... when I ask her about when we're getting married... she cruelly states she was only doing it for the baby. She acts as though she is the only one who lost someone, I didn't know my daughter or feel her growing inside me like she did but I loved her just as dearly. We are strangers living in the same house now… So um... yeah. I know what's like to lose everything precious to you."_

Shikaku nods knowingly.

They slam a shot together.

"_I understand Asuma but it sounds like she has a chemical imbalance. My wife lost three babies, before Shikamaru was born. Her body was just too strong, the foetus never had a chance, I drank about as heavily then as I do now because of it."_

_"It's a wonder Shikamaru was ever conceived at all, more or less carried to term."_

_"He wasn't carried to term..."_

Shikaku pours a shot, then slams it back.

_"Oh..."_

Asuma, looking at the stern man could see a hint of sadness on his face that looked cruelly so much like his student. He pours himself a shot as Shikaku motions to the bartender for another beer. He looks to Asuma, as he takes a swig of the brew placed before him.

_"And she didn't carry him..."_

_

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_

_Note from the Author:_

_Hey guys!_

_Wow, it has been two forever's since I have updated this story and I can't believe how busy I have been these last few months to get to this. Out of all my stories this pairing is the least popular but I think it's sweet and also because of a special reader, she alone has rekindled my Shika/Cho flame with her encouraging words and support! So I'm dedicating this chapter to her, thank you, Kaiser Wilhelm! I only hope this chapter is to your liking, I'll get more up here soon! _

_Thanks for reading everyone and review, review, review! I love hearing from you!_

_Love, K xoxo_


	6. Chapter 6: REVELATIONS

**Unwanted Memories**

**By: Kurenai LeStrange**

Naruto: Shika/Cho Pairing

Rated: M

Warning: Mpreg/Angst/Yaoi

* * *

**Chapter 6: Revelations**

They slam a shot together.

"_I understand Asuma but it sounds like she has a chemical imbalance. My wife lost three babies, before Shikamaru was born. Her body was just too strong, the fetus never stood a chance, I drank about as heavily then as I do now because of it."_

_"It's a wonder Shikamaru was ever conceived at all, more or less carried to term."_

_"He wasn't carried to term..." _

Shikaku pours a shot, then slams it back.

_"Oh..." _

Asuma, looking at the stern man could see a hint of sadness on his face that looked cruelly so much like his student. He pours himself a shot as Shikaku motions to the bartender for another beer. He looks to Asuma, as he takes a swig of the brew placed before him.

"_An' she didn't carry him…"_

_"Oh I'm sorry; I didn't realize you were married before his mother."_

_"I wasn't."_

_"I don't believe I follow..." _

Suddenly Asuma is very much so confused.

_"It's a little known fact that Nara men can carry children, in fact once every few generations a Nara male is born with the ability to birth his own young. Most males who have the inability to produce their own eggs, only end up carrying those for their wives and have a caesarian birth. Those who can produce their own are known by the fact they normally end up carrying multiples, unlike those who can only have one by embryo's implantation. There are exceptions to the rule though._

_Nara Konoichi are known for their brute strength and overbearing natures. They bodies are in perfect harmony with their chakra and end up becoming breadwinners for their families because of their superior strength and agility but most of all their minds are sharp, just as keen as any Nara male._

_Nara men are known for their superior minds and ability to concentrate chakra and medicine, but we end up with two jobs: heal the sick and wounded and bear the burden of children or child-rearing. In many of the last few generations the men have begun marrying into other clans, to avoid the task. Sadly, though Nara women are the 'whole package' so to speak, their bodies are just too strong, and their chakra concentrations are too high. No fetus stands a chance beyond the third, sometimes fourth month, in a Nara women's body. The miscarriage rate is immense, they often become cruel and jaded toward their spouses from the frustration and anger at their inability to sire young and they often leave the men to raise the children by themselves. You can hardly blame them I guess…"_

Shikaku already sobering due to the mental strain of the conversation became greatly saddened his face changing from care-free drunk to heart-broken man. The pain etched into his features, he looks down to the floor, swallowing hard. He closes his eyes tightly, and then sighs in resignation before he clears the boulder growing in his throat.

He looks back up to Asuma,

"_Much like Yoshino, Shikamaru's mother. That woman was something else-"_

He laughs softly trying to cover up the pain filling his heart at the thoughts of the night she left. Rubbing his right cheek, he swallows hard, clenching his teeth, her words resounding in his memory even after so many years,

"_Shikaku, don't try to follow me or so help me I will kill you. I'm through; I'm not a wife or a mother type even. I don't know what I was thinking trying to play house with you."_

"_But Yoshino we are a family, I love you and I know deep down in your heart, you love me and our future child as well."_

"_No, that's where you're wrong, I carried that gut pest for almost three months and all I waited for was to miscarry so I could have my life back, so I could get back out in the field where I belong. Not to be in some house with some worthless wretch, waiting for some brat to arrive. I hate it here and I hate you. All you do is flaunt that thing growing inside of you in front of me. I'm sick of it and sick of you."_

"_You might be tired of me but, this is our child, we made it together. It is ours."_

"_No it's yours, you wanted it. I never wanted this, whether or not you knew this is your problem. Not mine; I want nothing to do with this. Or you. You're pathetic; you're nothing more than a doting housewife. What kind of warrior is that? Because in the end that's all that matters and you are the prime example for weakness, Shikaku Nara!"_

He reaches out to grasp her arm, before he even had time to react; she already had a kunai out slashing his face twice, blood running down his cheek and forehead.

"_That was a warning Shikaku, don't try it again or it's the gut next."_

Shikaku's eyes widen in horror at what had just happened, she had just threatened their child, uncaring, relentless and brutal as always.

"_Yoshino…"_

The words seemed to leave him as he hit his knees, his left arm wrapped protectively around his swollen middle.

He laughs again trying to mask the pain.

"_She gave me this on the way out the door the last time. Anyway the elders believe it is a natural adaptive mechanism, in order for the clan to survive. Around twenty percent of Nara men who carry children have more than one live birth, so only two times out of ten when you see Nara multiples you can know the father carried them."_

_"What?"_

_"I carried Shikamaru and might have made it to term if Inoichi and I weren't ambushed in the woods outside the village seven months into my pregnancy while I was walking off some pre-labor contractions."_

_"How were you able to stabilize a pregnancy?"_

_"Both male and female humans are composed of many things including Estrogen and Testosterone. Deer Estrogen with a mixture of herbs is used to maintain proper levels of both."_

Asuma raises an eyebrow looking awfully confused. Shikaku tries his best to keep the slurring to a minimum as he continued his explanation.

"_It is able to control the simulation the male body tries to create by providing the estrogen the body needs while maintaining the proper testosterone levels both men and women have to have. Meaning it sustains the baby and the womb that encases by protecting it from outside radicals."_

_"Yo-You carried a baby? A baby that grew up to be the genius Shikamaru... how can a drunk have a genius for a son?"_

_"Yes, well the apple didn't fall far from the tree, besides the moment my Uncle told me that our line of the Nara blood carried the family secret, I quit drinking and smoking while training as hard as I could for two months all the while undergoing hormone therapy. Preparing my body for the implantation... I stayed smoke and Alcohol free throughout the pregnancy. I would have stayed that way if his mother wasn't so damn troublesome, before she left."_

_"Wow..." _

"_Yeah I know."_

"_Did you have any help?"_

_"Very few people knew about it other than my wife and the Nara Clan doctors who did the procedure. Chouza and his wife Mayumi, who was actually a few months ahead in her pregnancy with Choji helped me cope with the changes and Ino's father Inochi. Your father was also another, as well as some of the Nara clan. A few days after Chouza delivered Shikamaru, which was 2 months after the nine-tailed fox demon's attack, Inochi's ex-wife Saya left a baby girl on his doorstep; with a note. They all helped in one way or another, Inoichi and I learned to be single parents together. It was nice. "_

_"What did your closest comrades think?"_

_"You have no idea, Asuma how hard it is to be the only one in the group to go through something like that. Especially when Nara's keep their pregnancies so private. Have you ever noticed a pregnant Nara in public before I told you this?"_

_"Well, um... no. In fact this is the first I have heard about male's having the opportunity to carry children. How do you keep it so secret? With an Illusion Jutsu?"_

_"Yes, but they have developed a concealment Jutsu so efficive Byakagon and Sharingon can't even detect it."_

_"That's incredible, did my father know about this?"_

_"Of course, he was the Hokage. He interviews, then signs for every nin who takes a maternity leave of absence. Your father was a kind man. He would come by and sit with me often, when I was put on bed rest; because I was so sick during my pregnancy._

_In fact he was there one of the first times I went into false labor at six months, and started having contractions; I thought he was going to have a heart attack. He became adjusted quickly, he held my hand and helped me breathe, he even massaged my stomach when the contractions spiked. He said it worked for your mother, Shikamaru always calmed down for his touch, his and for Chouza's."_

_"Wow, it's amazing what you learn about someone once they're gone. You're right though, I wish I were half as kind as him."_

_"I know. I know."_

_"How did you friends find out, if it was so private though?"_

_"Well, it's a bit of a story, but I told them. I was sitting around the subaku table with them, sipping on cherry juice and wheat grass while they were getting snockered. Actually I think that was how I broke it to them."_

Shikaku steps into a memory: The three of them were sitting around the Subaku table _'Inochi kept making a huge deal about my juice,'_

"_Come on have a beer, why are you acting so weird?"_

"_No, I'm not acting weird, tell him Chouza."_

"_Well it is a bit odd, Shikaku. You were the...um... Alky of the group a few months ago... remember?"_

"_Aww, is Shikaku afraid of becoming a real alky?"_

"_No Inochi, I don't want to drink!_

"_Whatever, Shika. We both know you're whipped. She's the one not letting you drink again, am I right? You see Chouza this is why I'm never getting married... reasons like that."_

Chouza was laughing so hard began to choke on his beer, end result spitting it all over the table. Shikaku crosses his arms looking as bored with his teammate's antics as he usually did.

"_Oh yeah, well what do you call your ex-wife? "_

"_A waste of two of the best years of my life."_

They laugh almost in unison.

"_Well I'm lucky to have even made it out of the house tonight; Mayumi is in that moody stage of her pregnancy. I thought she was going to kill me."_

Chouza looks to Shikaku, seeing the hurt etched into his features, he shift in his seat, from crossing his arms to leaning forward his hands scrubbing his face. He looked pale, he had just gotten back from a mission which is something he hadn't done for quite a while, his face cut up and his arms and neck bruised. He worries in silence about his friend.

_"There's another reason right there to never to get married..."_

_"Don't be troublesome, Inoichi..." _

Shikaku states getting annoyed.

_"Come on Shika, you know we're just kidding..."_

_TBC…_


	7. Chapter 7:Nai needs your help, Readers!

Dear Faithful and Wonderful Readers of My Story,

I am terribly sorry for the wait on the next chapter, my writers block has been incredible. I can't seem to find my way around it and I desperately want to reward your patience. With 8 stories in the works (most the upcoming chapters are complete but do not begin for another two chapters) and 4 new stories yet to be posted, I have wanted to update this story asap to get you the chapters I've already completed. The only thing is, I want the joining chapters to be terrific, no filler or fluff to patch in the new completed work for this story... so that is where you guys come in.

I would be honored if any or all of you sent me a private message with what you would like to see happen next between the characters or what direction you would take the story next. I excited and intrigued to see what ideas you guys have and which one will ignite the spark I need to begin a writers fire!

Please write the story name your ideas are for in the subject area and then put your ideas. Please feel free to leave a critique with it. I always love hearing about why you like the story and what it is about the characters you love so much! I will begin checking my inbox in the next hour and hope to have something up before the new year, so keep your eyes peeled for new chapter! I will announce the name/s of the readers who help me kick this writers block at the end of the new chapter.

Thank you so much for your time and patience, I love all my readers and thank you again for your help!

-xoxo,

Nai-Chan


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